


Highlights of the Heart

by tseida



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Fili/Kili - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, Slight Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-18
Updated: 2013-01-18
Packaged: 2017-11-25 23:15:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/643993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tseida/pseuds/tseida
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili discovers his feelings for his rowdy little brother but, when Thorin finds them cuddling together one night, he worries about his nephews continuing their behaviour on the road and what the company will think of the Line of Durin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Highlights of the Heart

All throughout their childhood, Kili and Fili shared a bedroom. Their mother, Dis, died when they were very young and the brothers were sent to live with their uncle, Thorin. At first, they each had their own separate bed but, during one of Kili's tantrums, the bedpost broke and Fili had then expressed his desire to have Kili share his bed with him.

Kili was always getting into trouble and, whenever his uncle proceeded to punish him, he would scream and thrash around, kicking and flailing just to show how much he disliked being controlled. The small dwarf outgrew his temper tantrums quickly, though. Being the younger of the two, he was constantly pressured to be as strong and mature as Fili, but he could never quite wrap his head around it. His mind was filled with impulses to break the rules and, as time proved, whenever the dwarf set his mind to something, he was determined to get his way, despite what the consequences or repercussions were. He even selected a bow and arrow as his weapon of choice, just to make Thorin mad when he offered to train the brothers in combat. There was a light in Kili's dark eyes that seemed to grow brighter with every act of his mischief.

Fili soon grew jealous of his brother. Why should Kili get to enjoy himself while he had to sit on the sidelines, trying his very best to impress his uncle? For years, he held his jealousy inside of him, his chest getting hot whenever his younger brother attracted girls'-and even other boys'-attention. Kili had many friends and he was barely ever home during the day, which made the nights quite awkward in Thorin's house. The brothers still shared a bed but they had grown apart over the years and now they hardly _even_ spoke to each other. Thorin had given up hope on his young nephew and had begun to focus his attention on training Fili for the battlefield, which gave Fili a sliver of hope that maybe, one day, he would be better off than his brother. But even with all his newly gained fighting skills, he still felt himself getting jealous, and even angry, whenever he saw his brother enjoying himself with his friends and continuing to carry out his reckless actions.

  
It was late at night, perhaps early in the morning, when Fili walked into the bedroom. His wet, braided blonde hair hung loosely around his shoulders as he dressed himself quietly in the corner. At first he didn't notice Kili sitting on the bed but, when he turned around, he not only noticed his little brother, but also his shoulders, which were shaking softly as the brunette dwarf sobbed into his hands. Fili had never seen his brother cry or break down, or even be remotely upset since his temper tantrums stopped. Kili was constantly laughing and smiling, his dark brown hair hanging in front of his face. The older dwarf had no idea what to do. Should he comfort him? Leave him to his sadness? Fili felt like he was intruding upon too private a moment, so he made up his mind and tried to sneak out of the room before his brother saw him and became embarrassed. He almost made it to the door before Kili cried out.

“ _Fili, don't leave me!_ ” he pleaded, his voice breaking at the end. The eldest spun around, surprised at his brother for shouting out to him. He approached with caution, half readying himself for another of Kili's outbursts. Instead, his younger sibling just slumped on to the bed and wept uncontrollably into one of the pillows. Although their bond was not strong, Fili's heart broke at the sight of his baby brother crying. He was always so happy, so why should he be upset now?

“What's wrong, brother?” Fili ventured, trying the words out. They hadn't spoken in so long, and now it felt strange to have a private conversation with Kili. The brunette dwarf replied with something that sounded like, _"Idurphmow"_ and Fili was stumped. He reached a hand out to his brother, touching him lightly on the back. His touch awakened Kili, and the young dwarf wrapped his arms around Fili's waist in one swift motion, crying into his chest. Fili lay back, shifting his body and hugging his brother with one arm, pulling him closer, while he ran his other hand through Kili's dark waves.

“I don't know what's bothering you, Kili, but whatever it is, I'll help you through it,” he whispered. Fili tried to forget about the heat spreading through his chest, but it was overwhelming. He had always been jealous when his brother had shared his body with other people, but was that feeling really jealousy? Did he want what Kili had or did he want... _Kili?_ He was truly happy lying like this, Kili's head resting just below his shoulder, but was it simply because he liked comforting his brother, or was it something else? Something stronger?

Neither brother spoke about that night through their entire lives, and Fili did not find out what troubled Kili until the day he died. Although neither dwarf mentioned the late night events, they did not end there. Every night, Fili would tuck his arm under Kili's waist and run his fingers through his brother's hair until his breathing deepened and he fell asleep on the eldest's chest. By the time Fili awoke, Kili was already awake and had taken to fixing his older brother's braids if they had untangled themselves during the night. Whenever Kili smiled, Fili's heart beat faster. It was so loud that he became terrified of Kili hearing it pick up speed. One night, Kili lay upon his brother, while Fili played with his tangled brown waves, as they did every night.

“I can hear your heart, brother,” Kili said with a smile, positioning his head further up along Fili's chest. Fili's stomach lurched. If Kili discovered Fili's feelings for him, he would surely despise him. Things would revert back to the way they used to be; awkward nights, minimal communication and Fili would constantly long to wrap his arms around his little brother. He took a deep breath, dreading Kili's reaction as his heart sped up. Kili's head lifted slightly and his dark eyes searched for Fili's blue ones. Fili tried to relax. He shut his eyes as to avoid staring into his brother's curious expression. Suddenly, he felt Kili's soft lips brush his, but only for the shortest second, then his head was back against Fili's chest. The small action was enough make Fili's heart plummet, and he heard Kili giggle as he listened to his brother's heart rate change dramatically.

"Oh, wow. I see my experiment had quite the effect on you,” he said, laughing. If Fili's eyes had been open, he was sure he would've rolled them. Instead, he drew his brother in closer to him and began running his fingers through his hair once again. Kili wrapped his arm around Fili's waist and closed his own eyes. Soon both brothers were asleep and, when Fili woke up and found Kili fixing his braids like he so often did, he did not have the courage to mention that he dreamt of his little brother as he slept.

Some weeks later, Thorin approached his nephews and announced that he was going to start training the both of them harder. He scowled when Kili appeared in their backyard, holding his bow and a large amount of arrows packed in to his quiver. Fili was not far behind, carrying his swords and a few small throwing knives, which seemed to put Thorin in a better mood.

“Now, there will be absolutely **no** shenanigans today, do you hear me?” he asked, glancing at his youngest nephew. Kili rolled his eyes.

“Yes, uncle,” he replied in mock sincerity. Fili nodded in agreement before handing his brother one of the three swords he had brought with him.

“You might want to take one, Kili. Arrows will not help much in close combat, no matter how skilled you are,” Fili said. Kili took one with a slight hint of hesitation. They trained for hours, each lesson increasing in difficulty. Kili was picking up sword techniques quickly. He fought against Fili, dashing in and out of the reach of his brother's sword. His hair was always falling in front of his face, while Thorin and Fili's stayed nicely out of the way with the help of their braids. This caused quite a distraction, as he was always pausing to swiftly brush his hair out of his eyes with one hand. But his size made it quite easy for him to move quickly and, once, he even knocked Thorin to the ground. It was dark when they stopped training for the day and both brothers were sore and breathing hard. Kili and Fili retired to their room, completely drained of any energy.

Kili disappeared into the bathroom almost immediately. Turning on the tap, he drew himself a bath and watched as the steam collided with the ceiling. Sighing, he stripped down and seated himself in the scorching water. His dirty hair fell around the sides of his face when he cradled his head in his hands. Tears rolled down his cheeks, leaving clean streaks across the grime. He lay back and submerged his head beneath the water. He could feel his hair drifting away from his face as the weightlessness took effect. Silence surrounded him. It was eerie and it pounded into his head like a hammer. The bathroom tiles looked quite odd from where he lay, for they were blurred by the water. He passed his hand over the surface, creating small ripples right above his eyes. The tiny waves drifted down, into the depths of the bathtub, and he could feel them gently hit his cheeks and his nose. Kili laughed and bubbles floated up, exploding right in front of his face as they made contact with the harsh air. The breath in his lungs did not last long, though, and this forced him to sit up. Strands of wet hair clung to his cheeks as he finished washing up and climbed out of the bath.

Kili emerged from the washroom, dressed down to his braies and rubbing a towel over his damp hair. He crawled into bed and snuggled up next to Fili, resting his head on his brother's chest. Fili's breathing was shallow- he was still awake.

"Do you take me for idiot, brother?" he asked reprovingly. The older dwarf laughed and hugged his sibling.

"No, of course not. I simply wanted to see if you would roll over and fall asleep or if you would lay on me," Fili replied.

"And which would you prefer?" asked the younger dwarf, already knowing the answer.

"Oh, definitely the latter." Kili smiled and shut his eyes, satisfied with his brother's response.

It was that moment in which Thorin decided to intrude upon the young dwarves' bedroom. He clambered in, being greeted with the sight of his nephews cuddling together, one dressed in nothing but his undergarments while the other ran his fingers lovingly through his brother's half-dried hair.  
Thorin's reason for entering the room left his mind almost immediately and he became beyond outraged.

" ** _WHAT IS THIS INCESTIOUS BEHAVIOR!!?_** " he bellowed. Kili and Fili sat straight up, their faces painted with embarrassment.

"It's... it's not what it looks like. Aulë, this is just a huge misunderstanding," Fili spluttered. Kili lowered his head and stared at the floor, his dark hair covering his reddening cheeks. Thorin was furious. He stormed over to his youngest nephew, grabbed a fistful of his hair and dragged him off the bed. Fili stared at his uncle in astonishment while his brother cried out in pain.

"What are you _doing!?_ " Fili yelled. "Give us a chance to explain!" Thorin would hear none of it.

"Shut your mouth or you'll be next," he growled, thundering out of the room, Kili attempting to crawl behind him. Fili stood up and followed his brother's cries. Thorin dragged the youngest dwarf to the front door and threw him out, on to the steps. The stone was cold against Kili's skin and goosebumps erupted out over his body as he hit the ground.

"You have disgraced this family," snarled Thorin. "I am disgusted that you would carry out such behavior inside my house. You can stay out here until you learn what is appropriate of an Heir of Durin." He turned on his heel and slammed the door, bolting it shut.

"Uncle! You can't be serious! I HAVEN'T GOT ANY CLOTHES ON!!" Kili screamed. It was only when Thorin yelled, " _Enough!!_ " that the small dwarf realised that no amount of banging on the wooden door could convince his uncle to open it. Inside, Thorin rounded on Fili. He pushed him to the floor by his hair and leaned down to growl in his ear.

"I would expect better of you, Fili. I cannot believe that you would encourage your brother's revolting actions. Have you _anything_ to say for yourself!?" Fili thought of saying something to please his uncle, but instead the words, _"I enjoyed it,"_ escaped his lips. Fili was positive that Thorin would kill him, or at least hit him quite hard, so he was surprised when his uncle released his hair and stormed off to his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him. Fili sat up, staring in the direction that Thorin had retreated. He half expected him to come back and hit Fili across the face. Why had he punished Kili much more thoroughly? Was it because of his attire? The way he had always caused problems in the house? Had Thorin finally had enough of his youngest nephew? Fili could hear his brother sobbing and protesting out on the steps.

"Please let me in, uncle!" he cried. "It's really cold out here! I'm going to freeze to death. At least give me some damn **clothes!!** " He punctuated the last word with a loud bang on the door. Fili was conflicted, much like he had been when he caught his brother crying for the first time. He was torn between obeying his uncle and helping Kili. At last, he disappeared to the bedroom, rummaged about the drawers and the closet, and reappeared in the hallway, prepared to treat Kili to some of his clothes.

"Aulë help you if you open that door, Fili." Thorin nearly scared the blonde dwarf half to death. Fili had been so focused on helping his brother that he hadn't noticed his uncle standing in the hallway, blending so nicely into the shadows. It didn't help that Fili was itching with paranoia.

"This is cruel, uncle. We can't just leave him out on the steps while we're safe and warm in here. He hasn't done anything wrong." Fili saw his uncle's lip twitch at the last sentence.

"He needs to be punished," was all Thorin said on the matter.

"Uncle, I participated as well. Why not punish me, too?"

"I am more disappointed in you than anything else, Fili. Your brother has quite a bit of maturing to do, whereas you have been gifted with the opposite. You are a true Heir of Durin and I thought you had the mind and self-control of one. Apparently I was wrong." The words should have stung Fili, he knew that, but they didn't. They angered him. He loved his brother and he was prepared to show it to the world if that's what it took to make his uncle understand.

"I guess you were," Fili mumbled, stepping forward to open the door for Kili.

* * *

Thorin had long since accepted his nephews' late night tendencies. He had other important things on his mind as he searched for the Hobbit's house. Gandalf had said that the place would be easy to find, but Thorin was having some bit of trouble. Kili and Fili had left quite a while ago, perhaps they were already here. He wondered if they would continue their loving behavior on the road.

At last, he found it. A shining blue rune was carved into the wood of the door, stating Bilbo's eagerness to participate in the dwarves' quest. He approached the house, knocking loudly on the door. He heard hushed voices and saw plump little faces appear in the window. Once he thought he heard Kili's laugh. Thorin had not seen his kin for a long time and, although he tried his best not to display it on his face, small smiles broke his solemn expression throughout the evening.

That night, the 13 dwarves sat around the fireplace at Bilbo Baggins' house. They had filled their stomachs as much as they could in preparation for the hard road ahead. Thorin had expected a Hobbit who was at least trained in combat, so he was surprised and, not to mention, disappointed when he had discovered that Bilbo was naught but a soft boy, content only in the comforts of his own home.

The Heir of Durin watched as his nephews cuddled together in one of the Hobbit's armchairs, receiving strange looks from the rest of the company. He wondered if Fili and Kili were ready for such an adventure. They were not very violent people, but they had proven themselves worthy back at home. Kili's fighting skills were superb and he was as skilled as an Elf- perhaps even better- in his archery. Fili was a master with his swords. He wielded two of them, as well as a couple of throwing knives, which were stored in his boots and gauntlets; he could whip them out faster than the blink of an eye. This could certainly come in handy in tight situations, should they arise.

As Thorin's kin looked from his nephews then back to him, he shot them looks of acknowledgement, something to say, _"I am aware of their behavior."_ On the third night of their travels, Dwalin said what everyone was thinking.

"Don' you laddies think it's jus' a little odd ta be clingin'o each other all tha time? It's weird fer me ta see ya runnin' yer fingers through 'is 'air like tha'," he said with a grumble. Thorin rubbed at his temples; he knew his nephew would have something cocky to say. Fili had become extremely protective over his brother throughout the years, so much that he had taken to standing up for Kili each and every time someone insulted, touched, or even questioned his behavior.

"At least he has hair for me to run my fingers through...," Fili mumbled in response.

"WHA' WAS THA', BOY!?" roared Dwalin, throwing himself to his feet.

"Fili, watch your mouth," Thorin ordered. "You have no right to speak to your elders like that." This seemed to calm Dwalin down, at least enough for him to seat himself. Fili just rolled his eyes as his brother giggled into his chest.

More and more questions floated up from the company throughout their journey.  
 _"Are they together?" "Why does Thorin allow them to act like that?" "They're brothers... doesn't anyone else think that's strange?"_

Thorin had begun to get tired of the controversy among the dwarves. Finally, he spoke up.

"What my nephews do in their spare time is no one's business but their own. I highly doubt their relationship carries on past what we see every night. If they are happy, I am happy, and they seem perfectly content with their behavior. The next dwarf who makes a snide comment about either of the Heirs of Durin will be cast out. _Do I make myself clear!?_ " The entire company nodded in agreement. Small murmurs that sounded like, _"Yethrin,"_ echoed amongst Thorin's kin.

"Good. Now we may continue."

Kili and Fili were already ahead of the others, as they had heard nothing of their uncle's outburst.  
That night, not one remark or question slipped from any of the dwarves' mouths. The company fell silent as the young brothers slept, arms wrapped around each other.

* * *

Orcs' cries echoed through the night, sending chills down each of the dwarves' spines. Bilbo Baggins stood ready by Thorin's side, clutching Sting in his hands. The Elvish blade glowed a brilliant blue, announcing the Orcs' arrival. Sting prepared the company for the attack even before they saw the bodies climbing over the rocks. There were thousands of them, writhing and unraveling upon the mountain. Kili was standing protectively in front of Fili, unleashing arrow after arrow, never missing his target. Each shot hit an Orc square in the forehead, killing them instantly.

The battle erupted with the clang of metal against metal. These dwarves were warriors and they fought bravely. Erebor was theirs to rule, and they would rather die fighting for it than see it taken over again. All of them except Fili and Kili; they fought for each other. For their uncle. For their kin. They had survived perfectly fine without Erebor, so why was it so important now? Sure, they loved the thought of living under the mountain, rolling in gold and precious jewels, but their love for each other was stronger.

So it crushed Fili when he looked around for his brother and could spot him nowhere.

" ** _Kili!_** " he yelled, but was not surprised when he couldn't hear himself over the sounds of the surrounding battle. He begun to worry. He searched frantically for his little brother, terrified of where he might find him. At last, he spotted Kili. Fighting against a small Orc, he looked as if he was actually enjoying the battle, rather than being scared of it. Fili almost laughed. Almost. But before the sound could escape his lips, the Orc won. His blade cut through his little brother's stomach, splattering blood all over Kili's chest. Even from where he was standing, he heard the scream. His heart leaped into his throat and he immediately ran to his brother. Time slowed for Fili. The battle seemed to stop altogether, as he made his way to his dying brother. He could tell, even from far away, that the cut was mortal. He approached the brunette dwarf and he tried not to cry. The sight of the blood was sickening, but only because of who it belonged to. He held his hand to his brother's open wound, trying to will the blood back inside his body. He would've given anything to trade places with Kili. Fili watched helplessly as his brother's normally cheerful glow faded away and his skin grew paler and paler.

"Fili?" the younger dwarf coughed, blood appearing on his lips.

"No... no, Kili _please_. Someone, anyone... have mercy," Fili looked into his brother's dark eyes and he couldn't stop himself from sobbing. They still had that light in them that appeared whenever Kili caused trouble, except now they had gained it from the excitement of the battle.

"I only c-cried because of you," he managed to say.

"What? Kili, don't talk. Everything will be fine, we'll find help. I promise," he said, pressing his hand into Kili's wound. His little brother winced.

"Don't promise that," he said as tears finally started to fall down his own face. He couldn't feel the pain anymore, but his eyelids grew heavy and he knew it was the end. The end of everything. Fili would be alone in the world without him now, and he wanted, more than anything, to make sure his older brother would be alright. "I only cried because I couldn't have you. I love you, Fili."

The blonde dwarf wiped the tears from his own eyes with a muddy hand. "Stop, Kili. Aulë, shut up. I love you too. Don't give up on me... please...," he whispered, resting his head against his brother's forehead. His braids fell onto Kili's cheeks and his bloody fingers fumbled to fix them. Fili pushed them away. "No," he said firmly. "Do that later, brother." His voice was cracking now. He couldn't bear the thought of losing his brother. Fili gently pressed his lips to Kili's, and he felt his heart shatter when his brother attempted to kiss him back.

"I'm sorry, Fili," Kili mumbled. He could feel his mind slipping and, as much as he struggled to stay conscious for Fili, Death was almost upon him.

"Don't you dare leave me," Fili warned. His tears left clean streaks down his filthy face. He didn't dare look up at the battle, for he wanted to be there for his brother through every terrifying moment of this.

"I won't," replied Kili, as the light went out in his eyes and his body hung limp in Fili's arms. The eldest brother's scream echoed off the mountain, attracting the attention of every surrounding dwarf and Orc. Fili died the same way that he fell asleep every night; with Kili's head resting on his chest and his arms holding his little brother close to his body, his fingers tangled in his dark brown waves. Except this time, his heart wasn't beating fast. In fact, it wasn't beating at all.


End file.
